1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides compressed by a Thigh Master
2. McMurphy fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
3. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
4. The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
5. Thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
6. She caught one’s eye like one of those pointy hook-latches that dangle from doors and fly up when one banged the door open again.
7. The little boat drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
8. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
9. He was a s tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
10. Hailstones leaped from the pavement like maggots when fried in hot grease.
11. Even in his last years Grandpa had a mind like a steel trap, one left out so long it rusted shut.
12. Shot rang out, as shots are wont to do.
13. The plan was simple, like my sister Jane. Unlike Jane, this plan just may work.
14. “Oh, Jason, take me,” she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on a 31p-a-pint night.
15. He was as lame as a duck. Not a metaphorical duck, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
16. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who cannot tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
17. She had a deep, throaty laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
18. It came sown the stairs like something no one had ever seen before.
19. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe, extending one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
20. It was a working-class tradition, like fathers chasing their kids around with power tools.
21. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
22. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
23. She grew on him like a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
24. She walked into my office like a centipede with ninety-eight missing legs.
25. It hurt the way your tongue does after you accidentally staple it to the wall.